The summer between ninth and tenth grades
Bonnie* and her group of friends did me dirty.
Shane* pretended to be Max*, and
I answered the phone, talked with
who I thought he was…
I think I remember Max (who was Shane)
say: I’ve had you on my mind lately,
remember now later I did doubt
its truth but still hope had bubbled—
That was the day I lost faith in friends
and today I hear Willie Nelson crooning,
waiting room muzak plumbing memory:
You were always on my mind…
You were always on my mind…
To those with regret, those who want
to know how to resist cruelty, consider:
trauma lives long inside the body.
When I enter any gathering,
all I do first is doubt.
Written beside “Water” by Rudy Francisco
*Pseudonyms have been used to protect the adolescent unkind
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